New Year Connections

Nine days into the New Year… how’s it going so far?  I came into the New Year with a new attitude to how I live my life.  I wanted to be more focused, so that whatever I did, fed into my goals for the year, for my life, but in a simple way.  I wanted to do little things which mattered, whenever possible.  This includes basic things including household tasks and shopping to more meaningful things: kind words, positive gestures, gifting presence and listening skills.

I love my husband and family very much, I have a few friends whom I cherish, and I adore my fur babies; often however I am so busy, I see far less of them than I would like.  I have a tendency towards being a chatterbox, especially when I am ‘full of beans’ and I have realised more and more than I don’t always listen.  My husband can ask me to do something and two minutes later I have forgotten what it was.  We both assume that my memory is not so great, but I truly believe that sometimes I just don’t listen properly.  I also believe that this is common in our busy world.

My first goal for the New Year then, is to ‘enjoy time with family and friends’.  This means quality time, and during conversation listening to what is being said.  For the first nine days of the year so far I have managed:

1. Visiting and chatting for some time with one of my yoga teachers, not seen for many months

2. Taking my mum and recently widowed aunt to the cinema (Mary Poppins Returns), and for a late lunch

3. Spending the day with my husband at a vintage market and eating a delicious Sunday roast in a lovely restaurant

4. Meeting with one of my oldest friends (and ex dancing partner) for a lovely belated birthday meal (for her) at a delicious Turkish restaurant, with lots of chatting

5. Returning to dance classes with my dad – I took a break while doing my doctorate some years ago, and I missed it so much.

Tomorrow my husband and I are going to the theatre and at the weekend friends are coming to our home for an afternoon cream tea.

This pace won’t continue for the rest of the year, it would be too exhausting, but I am determined to make an effort to connect with people in my life. I have to remember though that being autistic, overload can hit quickly if I keep my life too active, so balance is needed.  Of course I also need to leave room for my other goals for the year as well.  I never make resolutions, simply goals to keep me on track and ensure I don’t waste what is a precious life.  More about these coming up soon…

My husband is due home any time from an evening of teaching… so I am shortly to leave you, so that we can catch up and spend some quality time together.

Let me know what your goals are, and how you connect with others.  What is important to you?

Until next time…

www.sensingthesimplelife.com

The Simplicity of a Book

Right back to a very young age I have always been obsessed with books. Books are simple, you just sit and read. Nothing else is needed.

My Auntie Sally apparently tried to get me to repeat nursery rhymes after her as she read them to me; sadly I was a pretty stubborn toddler.  My mum tells me that as soon as she had left the house, I proceeded to recite, or perhaps read, them all perfectly.  I started reading from the age of three, yes I was precocious but also unbeknown at that time, autistic; and this is a common clue for diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome.

I remember at Christmas, there was always a book in my stocking (make that a pillow case) left by Father Christmas (or Santa as I call him). I remember waking each year at about 2am to find a stuffed pillow case and all I looked for was a book shape.  Once I had opened this gift, I was happy to go back to sleep until a proper waking time, when I would read said book.  My other favourite gifts were a notebook and pen but I will save that for another lesson.

Through the first ten years of my life, I worked my way through the libraries of Enid Blyton, Noel Streatfeild, Lewis Carroll, Anna Sewell, Frances Hodgson Burnett and many more. I loved all books, but my absolute favourites were Enid Blyton hardbacks including the Faraway Tree, the Naughtiest Schoolgirl and Mr Twiddle; moving on to the series books: Famous Five, Secret Seven, St Clares and Mallory Towers.  Even now I have some of these books on my shelves and I read them from time to time.  I was even a member of the Enid Blyton fan club.

I always wanted to go to boarding school and take a tuck box with edible goodies to eat at midnight feasts. There is something about books read as a child; the memories live with you always.  I can almost smell the macaroons, the fresh bread devoured by the Famous Five on their adventures, and yearn for the ‘lashings of ginger beer and hard boiled eggs’.  My nan used to make rock buns and I imagined they were those eaten by the Secret Seven during their meetings in the shed with homemade lemonade.

As I became a teenager I read pretty much anything put in front of me but one book which impacted me more than any other, was one studied for GCE O’Level (yes, I’m THAT old!). To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee was published in 1960 and is the most wonderful book. I loved everything about it; the innocent but so intelligent child’s language narrating the story, the serious message behind it about racism which sadly still lingers on today in many parts of the world, even in this country, and the suave lawyer Atticus Finch who tries to be fair and just.  Most of all I love the interactions with the characters, especially the children and the lonely character of Boo.  More recently I have been aware that there is a chance that this character was autistic; a co-incidence I wonder?  I managed to quote from this book in every one of my doctoral papers including a few times in my final thesis and in my latest book Sensing the City.  There seems to be appropriate words for pretty much every situation, and I continue to read this book time and time again. I was so incensed when it was taken out of the British school curriculum I wrote Michael Gove (the Education Minister at the time) a strong letter and sent out a press release objecting.

There is something about books – the smell of the paper, the feel of the pages turning. My books often looked ‘lived in’ with tea and coffee stains, and just yesterday I managed to get a beetroot stain on ‘The Catcher in the Rye’ a classic I discovered after it being mentioned a couple of times in a movie I was watching.

That is not to say I don’t love an E-Reader as well. I resisted for several years before someone I respected in higher education told me he had discovered one and loved it.  I quickly became addicted as I could download most of the books I wanted in the seconds I actually wanted them.  No waiting for a bookshop to open, or the postman to arrive.  It also meant I could flit about from book to book depending on my reading mood, and was especially useful if I was travelling or away.  No having to decide which books I wanted to take with me, or limiting my choices depending on the weight and size.

Regardless of how or what I read the books these days, I do have a few more unwritten (until now) rules than I did as a child who read just about anything.

1. If the description doesn’t grab me, even if the reviews are good, I usually won’t bother to read it. If the author or the publisher hasn’t made an effort to entice me as a reader, why should I spend time ‘trying it’?
2. I need to be caught up in it by the end of the first couple of chapters or I usually give up on it. There are so many books out there to read, I need to spend my time reading what will inspire me.
3. I realise that having read no 2, I am now at risk that you may be considering putting my books in with your next charity donation, but give me a chance; they are well worth reading… really.
4. If the book is a printed version, I now pass it on to someone else; either by way of charity bag donation, or I leave it on a coffee shop table, park bench or train seat with a sticky note telling the finder it is a gift for them but to pass it on when they have finished reading it.

I believe that being able to read is a gift. Books teach language, spelling and grammar, give inspiration and motivation, pass on knowledge and skills, and create a strong foundation to build a life upon.  Reading is a skill or pastime which can last a lifetime.  If someone can’t read for one reason or another, there are audio books which can be equally wonderful to listen to.  There are stories, poetry, life experiences, languages to learn, facts to absorb, or words to inspire.

Books have made my life complete and I would never want to be without them in some way.  What books do you love?

Until next time…

Don’t forget to check out my website www.sensingthesimplelife for more about me and my work

Simple Sunday Morning

A lazy Sunday, with nothing major planned; a cold is brewing and my body simply needs a rest.  A quick trip to the vet with Rosie for her annual vaccination, and then we decided to try out our local Farmer’s Market for the first time.  I expected a few stalls with perhaps some preserves and some baked goods.

How wrong was I, and I have become so obsessed by what I found that I rushed home to book each monthly market into my diary for the foreseeable future.

The recently refurbished square in my home town was buzzing with people, and more dogs than I’ve seen at a dog show, wandering about on leads stopping to ‘chat’ to each other as they walked.  There was a real community buzz which was wonderful.  Everyone seemed to have time to chat, and were so friendly.  Does a farmer’s market automatically attract friendly people?  Some were sitting around on benches, drinking steaming cups of coffee and hot chocolate; others munching on hot sausage rolls or a cheeky slice of delicious homemade sponge.  There were stalls with such a wide array of foods from marshmallows to local sausages, locally brewed beers and wines, apple juice and cider and massive jars of juicy olives, pickled eggs and sundried tomatoes.  There were homemade cards, knitted goods, hand painted canvas bags to replace the horrendous plastic tsunami which is engulfing our world and stunningly beautiful handcrafted pens and wooden gifts.

The photo above shows most of my haul, bar the Italian pastry I bought back for Joe as a lunchtime treat.  Who can resist freshly baked onion bread spread thickly with local butter?  It was so scrumptious I had two wedges – shared of course with Holly and Rosie (our fur babies).  I didn’t even wait to cut the local cheese I also purchased Ashmore Cheddar – I’ll save that for later with some of my cousin Amanda’s multi award winning  Captain’s Crackers .I did however sample the cheese in the market, as did Rosie.  Although I am currently on a low sugar kick (more about this another time), I couldn’t resist a lovely jar of Apricot Chutney from a lovely lady who had a good chat with me.  I should make a promise to Flo here, that I will resist opening it for another three weeks.  A fat wedge of goats cheese and asparagus quiche completed my purchases.

Just a simple lunch of fresh bread, real butter, cheese and chutney, with a freshly brewed pot of coffee is simply wonderful.  Who really needs ready made meals?  I am feeling a little smug today; I also have a large pot bubbling away as I make a batch of bone broth for the week’s meals.  So good for you, so cheap, and so yummy.

Apologies if I have made you hungry.  I suggest you get down to your local Farmer’s Market as soon as possible.  Simple really is best.  Enjoy the incredible aromas, colours, tastes and sounds of chatter.

Until we meet again

Don’t forget to check out my website sensingthesimplelife.com, and my book Sensing the City: An Autistic Perspective, where I discuss the sensory issues surrounding markets.

Family Life

At the age of 51 I don’t necessarily have the conventional family life. There is my lovely husband Joe, a karate instructor and Chair of a national martial arts governing body.  And then there are our two adorable fur babies: Yorkshire terrier Holly and Yorkiepoo Rosie, both 11. 

We have no children of our own. At home we have never had wet nappies, terrible twos or threes, stroppy teens, empty nest syndrome or having to save for weddings, university or help pay deposits on first homes.  We have lots of nieces and nephews (our siblings have been blessed with these ‘joys’), and have taught hundreds of other people’s children; a job we both love.

As a childhood cancer survivor, I wasn’t able to have my own children, and other avenues were explored and discounted for various reasons. We have been sad for much of our lives together about this, but now in our fifties, we appreciate and are so grateful for the life we have.  Mainly Mothers’ and Fathers’ days are sad for us.

We have a beautiful home, with a wonderful garden to explore and relax in. We love our fur babies so much; they give us love and comfort and in turn we give them everything they could need – basically food, water, exercise and love… oh, and regular grooming opportunities.

In the garden we have a clutch of hens with a loud and proud cockerel looking after their needs. They provide lovely rich eggs, and roam around their expansive pen digging in dirt, socialising, clucking and pooping.

The front garden sees a pond large enough to swim in (Joe proved this when he fell in one day) filled with beautiful Koi of all sizes and stunning colours.

We are both members of the RSPB and encourage a host of wildlife into the garden to admire and appreciate. Butterflies, bees, squirrels and hedgehogs are just a few of the creatures who inhabit our garden, and I love them all.

My parents and siblings live nearby and family barbecues are a regular feature in the summer; my dad cooking and ‘encouraging’ (he can be bossy and I have inherited this trait) us to play racket ball and hoola-hooping (he is a champion at this).

So, that’s us… now you have met us all, it’s soon time to appreciate all that is simple

Until we meet again…

Check out my website: https://sensingthesimplelife.com  where you will find links to my professional sites and books for purchase, should you choose to explore further.